My name is Kathy Chopp
   
                  and this is my story...

Growing up in Pittsburgh with 2 brothers, I mostly remember my mother raising us and my father providing for the family. Religion and faith in God were always present in our home. We attended Mass weekly, never missed a Holy Day and attended CCD when in public school. For as long as I can remember I would go to God with all my worries and concerns and praise Him for my many blessings. 

My mother was like June Cleaver. Her family and her devotion to her family life were placed above anything else. I remember coming home from school to the smell of homemade cookies on many occasions. She was always there to wipe away the tears. She was my biggest encourager. Because of the modeling shown to me by my mother and her passion for being around children, all I ever wanted to be was a mother. This is not to say that I always agreed with or never challenged my mother's parenting ability, but she created in me a love and desire to be a parent myself.

My goal of motherhood initially eluded me. I was frustrated as I tried to set my own timetable instead of trusting God's timing. I was working for an interior designer in Shadyside while unbeknownst to me my future husband, was working in an office just three buildings away. All of the years of going to the gym finally paid off - and I don't mean for health reasons. On a regular day in December of 1998, Mike approached me in the aerobics room, of all places, and asked me out for coffee. I told him I didn't drink coffee. I regretted that answer as soon as I said it. But it led to him call me the very next day to go out for lunch. I discovered it was good to trust God's timing. From that lunch date forward we discovered in each other what we'd both been hoping and praying for in a life partner. We were engaged and married within a year and shortly thereafter decided to move to South Florida.

I trusted that God was going to finally provide me with the family that I had so desperately waited for and wanted so badly. Unfortunately, that was not as easy as we thought it would be. After 3 years of waiting, tears and disappointments, God placed the right friends and fertility doctors in our path. We were truly blessed when I became pregnant at the age of 37. I was once again amazed at God's timing and plan for my life; I finally not only had the man of my dreams but also a beautiful baby girl born in 2002. We sought the same fertility doctor in hopes of a second child but by God's grace we became pregnant all on our own. Our son was born in 2004. We received these two little miracles in two totally different ways.

Life continued with these two small children as we lived in the state of Florida where we had no family and really no close friends. I expressed my strong desire to move back to the Pittsburgh area. My faith became challenged due to the stress this placed on our marriage and our family life, for deep down inside Mike did not want to make the move back. Relying on God's guidance and knowing the strength of our marriage, we made the move and did our best to become re-acclimated to the area and most certainly, to the weather.

Even before we made the move, finding a church home to continue to grow closer to God as a couple and a family was most important to us. In Florida we attended a church in Boca Raton called Spanish River Church. We had asked our small group to pray for our decision to relocate back to Pittsburgh when I mentioned how much I would miss Spanish River and all it had brought to our lives. Someone in the group remembered that one of the pastors had left to serve in a church in Western PA and gave us the name and email address of Gary Treichler. We contacted Gary and he suggested we give Orchard Hill a try on our next house hunting visit to Pennsylvania. Despite small differences, Orchard Hill was very similar to the church we had grown to love in Florida. Honestly, we never even looked at another church once moving here. It was never even a question that being a part of Orchard Hill was part of God's plan for my life.

We moved on Labor Day weekend of 2006. I joined a Bible study that started the following week and Mike immediately joined a CLC group that was starting in November. We were both hopeful of things to come. Services at Orchard Hill became something I looked forward to and couldn't wait to attend each week. I could feel God's presence more and more through the messages, music and sense of community.

By March of 2007 we were being relocated to Charlotte, North Carolina for a professional opportunity which was too good to pass up. This would mean two long distance moves within only 8 months. Mike started living there and flew home on the weekends to be with us. Needless to say, this was a difficult transition for all of us. During the week I had the children 24/7, they missed their daddy and Mike hated being away from us.

This continued for 3 months until we finally saw an end in sight by June of last year. We found a house we loved in Charlotte and scheduled all the final plans to get back together as a family. Mike had flown home for the last time to get everything in place for our move. I can remember thinking that it was actually going to happen - we were leaving Pittsburgh and heading to Charlotte. Father's Day 2007 we kissed daddy goodbye and headed to service that morning while he was to drive to Charlotte instead of taking his usual flight back. By early evening, the police were at my door to give me the news that there had been an accident. Mike had died at the scene. Within moments of this most horrifying news I prayed out to God to help me, to give me strength and to protect us. What was I going to do now with a 5 and 2 year old on my own? Within an instant I had become a single mom, not by choice.

The minutes, hours, days and months since the accident have been painful beyond words. You wouldn't think that I'd have anything to be thankful for but here lies the real work of our God. Immediately upon hearing about Mike, his CLC group reached out to us unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. There were phone calls, food, notes, visits, and even a thoughtfully planned and provided lunch waiting for us at my house following the funeral service. Some of the men made several visits to my house to help with handyman projects. They were basically strangers extending God's love to me. I was overwhelmed at the care and encouragement we received.

Always being open and eager to receive help and support, I was very anxious for the GriefShare Group sessions to start. For 13 weeks beginning this past March, I attended this group on Thursday evenings. Initially not knowing what to expect, I grew to eagerly look forward to Thursdays at 7:00, like it couldn't get here fast enough. I can't begin to tell you how comforting it felt to be in a room full of people who actually knew what I was going through. Sure, everyone there didn't lose a husband, but regardless of the relationship lost, these people understood the depths of my pain, my struggles, my fears. For two hours once a week, I felt connected and at ease with my emotions. I wasn't "alone" in what I was feeling or experiencing. To be able to share this was very cathartic for me. It is something I would encourage to anybody who has experienced this type of pain. Having Orchard Hill provide this group is another one of God's blessings to me. I am thankful for all that God has done in my life. Being angry at God is not even an option for me. How could I be angry at God for each and every moment I look at my children, I see their daddy alive in them - the children I wouldn't even have had it not been for God placing Mike in my life. This is a God who loves me. This is a God I trust with the plan for my life. My name is Kathy Chopp and this is my story.