My name is Deborah Marconi
     
                    and this is my story...

My name is Deborah Marconi and this is my story. I grew up in New Brighton in Beaver County with a warm, loving Christian family. That's not to say there weren't squabbles with the older brother and younger sister and the usual growing pains we all have, but all in all it was a great childhood. Going to our small church and learning about Christ's love for me was just a normal part of my life. I have always been easy going and a peace-maker, so when my mother or father laid down the rules, I would freely oblige.  It wasn't until my high school years that I began to recognize some of the restrictions placed on me that my other friends did not have. The summer before my senior year in high school, my father died suddenly of a heart attack. It was then that I believe my journey to today, truly began.

I had always wanted to be a grade school teacher, so when it came time to pick a college, I chose Grove City, which is where my brother had attended. My mother wasn't sure if we could financially manage the tuition, so I went to Clarion University instead. Due to my sheltered life, I not only learned the skills needed for teaching at college, but I also learned a whole lot more about what goes on in the world. Although I had a great spiritual foundation, I still found myself drifting away from God with the choices I made. Whatever happened at school, stayed at school! I felt like I had 2 different lives; the one my mother chose for me when I was home and the one I chose when I was at school. It was at Clarion that I meet my first husband and the father of my 2 beautiful daughters. He wasn't a Christian, so my mother was not excited about the marriage and insisted that I not get married - at least until I had my degree. I did follow her wishes but within 2 weeks of graduation I was married and moved to Sharon, PA. 

Once I was finally married and out of college life, I drifted back to follow my faith. I wanted to find a teaching job and a church home. I found a nice church in the area that was just starting a Christian School. They needed teachers so I both found my church home and used my skills for the next 9 years. If you ever ask me about my favorite job, I would say, "teaching my second graders at the academy." As my daughters got old enough to attend school, they went with me everyday to the academy. We were like the Three Musketeers. Although my husband was not very active in our lives, we were enjoying life together. How good can it get!!!! 

Life took another twist when the mill shut down and my husband lost his job. He went back to school while I worked 2 jobs and tried to keep the family and our home afloat. It was during that time, that I knew God was answering my prayers. Just when we needed food, it was there. Just when we had no more money for a mortgage payment, there was a new job in Pittsburgh for my husband. This was a good thing, so we thought. After 10 years in Sharon we were starting on new adventure in the eastern suburbs of Pittsburgh. It was very difficult for us to get settled again - no friends, no church home. Three years later we moved to the North Hills. Within 2 weeks of the move my husband told me he wanted a divorce.

Talk about being blind-sided. My world had fallen apart without me even knowing about it. I'm not sure how I would have managed the pain without my faith in God. I found myself on my knees again, saying I can't do this alone. After much of an emotional struggle, I eventually found a church for the girls and me and we started regaining our life as a threesome. You would think that after some of the twists and turns, I would have learned to keep looking up even after things in my life began to get better. But within 3 months of my divorce, I had started on my own path again. I married on a rebound, thinking this was best for my children and me. The relationship was unhealthy from the start - he was verbally abusive and did not get along with my daughters. We had a church to go to, but there was no church family and friends to share the burden. My oldest daughter was in search of her own church and had gone to Orchard Hill for a youth event. She loved the music and the teaching and said I should try it sometime. Following my second divorce in 1999, I decided to try Orchard Hill; my daughter was right! I attended sporadically.

My journey continued and within a year I met a wonderful man. I introduced him to Orchard Hill. He also fell in love with the music and teaching. He said it was here that he realized that our walk with the Lord is a relationship, not a religion. We married in 2003. The very next year he was diagnosed with lung cancer. We had always wanted to join the church, but each time there was a membership class he was having treatments or was just sick. He died in 2006 and Orchard Hill officiated at his funeral. 

Once again, I found myself alone and on my knees praying for guidance. I heard about GriefShare and decided to attend. I wanted desperately to have a church home and a church family again, so 3 months after his death I decided to join the church for both of us. It was through GriefShare and the new membership program that I was able to get busy for God and connect with other women in similar situations. I now help to co-lead a women's small group, help facilitate GriefShare and participate in the L3 Singles group on Saturday evenings. I have now become part of something bigger, which is something I had missed for so long in my life. 

But my story doesn't end there. I am now engaged to another wonderful man, who has also begun to attend Orchard Hill with me. The journey to today has had some wonderful times and some painful times, but no matter how far I may have drifted, God has always been there with me, waiting for me to call His name. I find it amazing that it has taken me this long to really understand that God has a purpose for my life, even when I make bad decisions. He continually makes good out of bad. I also know that no matter how hard I try, I will still falter. The one comfort that has sustained me through this crazy journey is knowing He is always walking beside me and, when necessary, He is carrying me through to the next crossroad. Brian Shivler said this at one of the L3 sessions as we discussed hope and God's plan for our lives, "If in the end it's not okay, then it's not the end." I know my ending when it comes will be great! My name is Deborah Marconi and this is my story.