My name is Greg Poust

          and this is my story. . .


My name is Greg Poust and this is my story. I was born 22 years ago in Erie, Pennsylvania. Due to some complications with my birth, my father was the first one to hold me. My dad and I always had a special bond and my mom said it had a lot to do with those first moments of my life. With an older sister and a younger brother, we lived a rather typical life. We took family trips, visited with friends and played sports. We went to church regularly and attended extra classes but at the time any sort of faith meant nothing to me.

Life was pretty normal throughout these years but everything started to change when I was nine years old. Within one month two major events occurred that would shape the next few years of my life. First, my dad was transferred to Pittsburgh. At the same time, my younger brother, Alex, was diagnosed with a massive brain tumor that required immediate surgery. My mother spent most of her time at hospitals with my brother, my father eventually began to work in Pittsburgh and the rest of us still lived in Erie. My sister and I were shipped off to family and friends to be able to finish the school year. I would visit Alex in the hospital whenever I was able, but for the most part I went from place to place to finish third grade.

My family eventually moved to Pittsburgh. I started fourth grade in a new school, leaving behind all my friends in Erie. That fall we discovered that surgery and chemotherapy had not eliminated Alex's tumor. My parents searched for other treatment options and found an experimental treatment in a New York City hospital. The cancer was successfully eliminated but the process took its toll on my brother resulting in physical side effects and learning disabilities.

Alex needed constant care and support so this became my mom's full time job. I changed schools each year because I couldn't find a place where I felt that I fit in. During this difficult time I became even closer to my dad. He coached my soccer team and I would use any excuse to go with him on errands. I went to church just to be with him. He was essentially my best friend.

One evening my father went out for his normal jog before dinner. He was gone longer than normal. It began to get dark and suddenly we saw police and ambulance lights on the road behind our house. My dad had a massive heart attack while jogging which took his life almost instantly. I was twelve years old when my father passed away.

At this point in my life I had no real belief in God. Now that my father had passed away, I began to question my belief in life after death. If there was a God, I did not feel any love for Him or from Him. I could never understand why He would take my dad when I was such a young kid. At this point I thought that if there was a God I wanted nothing to do with him. Mostly though, I felt as if He was make-believe – just like a fairy tale.
For the next six years I went to Seneca Valley School. I continued to have trouble finding friends and struggled to somehow fill the hole that my father had left. I went from group to group never really feeling care or acceptance. I was diagnosed with depression and eventually began taking antidepressants. I spent most of my time alone at home watching TV or movies and listening to music. I had a few friends that I would hang out with at times, but for the most part I was alone. My mom continued to spend most of her time caring for my brother who was still suffering the side effects from the experimental treatment. My sister had drifted more and more apart from me since we moved to Pittsburgh and essentially ignored me and the rest of the family when she went to college.

At the end of my sophomore year, a girl invited me to come to this thing for high school students at Orchard Hill called Club. I started to attend and that same summer I went on the high school trip to Rockbridge. At camp, I made new friends with the guys in my group and built a close relationship with my small group leader. He led a time each night where we were able to talk about life and what we were going through. The relationships I developed at this camp would play a huge role in my life continuing through today.

Throughout the week, the speaker at the camp presented the Gospel message. This was the first time in my life that I heard and understood the Gospel. I learned that because of sin every person was disconnected from God and out of His great love, God sent His only Son to earth to live a sinless life and die on the cross to pay for our sin. The message of the Bible finally made sense to me. That night as I prayed for one of the first times in my life, I decided I wanted to enter into a relationship with Jesus.

My junior year of high school started and for the first time I had a group of friends. We came to Club every week. We attended every service together and had a Bible study every Sunday. I began to serve as a leader for middle school kids. Over the next few years, I volunteered every week with the middle school program and served as a leader at summer camp. One of the coolest things about serving in middle school ministry is the relationships I have been able to form with some of the kids that last even to this day. I have seen some of the kids go on to not only learn to drive and to graduate from high school but even serve at the church with me in areas like Impact and KidsFest.

I started to serve at KidsFest five years ago as a team leader. It was one of the first times I had served with younger kids. It was an amazing opportunity to share God's love for them, just as I had experienced the previous year at camp. I was also part of a small group of team leaders where I felt wanted and welcomed. It was a great first year for me.

But during this same time my brother became more ill. His previous cancer treatment had resulted in leukemia. His only hope for treatment was a bone marrow transplant. As I began my senior year, my brother's condition worsened. My mother was basically living at the hospital, my sister was off at college and I stayed home by myself. I spent September and October living alone in my house - going to school when I felt like it and going to see my brother at the hospital as much as I could. School seemed pointless to me when my brother was deathly ill.

Alex came home for most of November. A suitable donor was available but Alex was too ill to attempt the transplant. On Thanksgiving day, he began to feel sick and my mom took him to Children's Hospital. Eight days later Alex passed away. Many friends gathered around me to try to help me in this tragic time. When my brother passed, I was able to find some hope for him and I was joyful that his pain had finally ceased. But this did not make his death any easier to deal with. I was crushed to lose my little brother.

I graduated from high school still searching for ways to deal with the loss of my brother. I wanted to find an escape, something that would help me to feel good again. Unfortunately, summer graduation parties provided an easy opportunity to experiment with alcohol. I found this escape offered only a temporary numbing of the pain. Seeing that alcohol brought no true healing, I felt convicted that this was not a healthy choice. I stood on my faith in Jesus and decided to walk away from this temptation through the power of Christ working in me.

I attended Thiel College for a semester. I was unable to make any good friends and I did not enjoy my classes, so I took a semester off as I decided what to do next. My mother found a job near Orlando, Florida, but I chose to stay in Pittsburgh. Over the next year I took a few classes locally and supported myself with various jobs, including working as a Student Ministry intern at Orchard Hill. With my passion for reading scripture and learning more about the meaning in the original text, I enrolled fulltime at Geneva College as a Biblical Studies major where I will be a junior this fall.

This is my sixth summer to work at KidsFest. I've had both the opportunity to lead kids and to lead the band. Each year I have been challenged to grow in my faith, in my leadership skills and in my other areas of giftedness. While all of this is good, I think my favorite part of KidsFest has been our intern small group which started at the beginning of June and is led by Shannon Miller.

I have been through several tragic times in my life. For much of my life I have hidden behind the knowledge of the Christian faith to protect myself from getting hurt again. While that knowledge is not a bad thing, I have used it to protect myself from entering into real community. Now for the first time in my life I am able to be more open and honest about how I am really doing. Thanks to the care of this team, I am able to not only know that I am loved by God and others but to really feel it as well. I am able to grieve the bad times and hard things that have happened to me and let Christ breathe love and grace into those situations. I know that it will take time and I may be grieving for a long time but I am so joyful to know I have finally started this process.

So for me, I really am in the middle of my story. Despite the situations I have faced and the imperfect person that I am, I take comfort knowing that God has a plan just for me and He will walk beside me all the way. My name is Greg Poust and this is my story so far.
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