“Learning to say no is a spiritual discipline. It’s not so much about time management…it’s about theology.”
I heard this at a Women’s Conference in Indianapolis this summer.
I felt like it knocked the wind out of me.
Of course, it makes sense; our theology is quite literally how we live in response to what we believe about God. But rest? I’ve always thought of theology as action. Not what we’re doing when we’re not doing anything…right? Rest is something we all know we need. All long for. In the middle of an exhausting work week, we dream of the weekend. In the trenches of hard, physical demands, we desire the next time we’re stationary. In the middle of burnt out, we think of a time free from it. But aren’t these ideas separate from our everyday routines? A break in the regularity of life? A time outside of schedule to catch our breath?
Theology is defined as “the disciplined study of religious faith, practice, and experience, particularly the study of God and God’s relation to the world.” Meaning, all our actions (even the action of deciding not to act) matter. Scripture itself emphasizes this. Even our “off” time is not separate from the hand of God. Romans 8:38-39 writes,
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (NIV)
So, what does our theology of rest say about us?
If we see Sabbath as…
Time to squeeze in “that one little thing” we couldn’t get to during an already busy week.
A dreaded day to continue to give from a desert-dry cup.
Not important in the flow or function of our task list.
…then our exhausted, empty, resentful eyes will view God just the same. When, in reality, our God is not one who wants us to be constantly burdened by the weight of life and its challenges.
Instead, God tells us rest is…
A Holy Rhythm - “By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.” (Genesis 2:2-3; NIV)
A Cease from Work - “There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his.” (Hebrews 4:9–10; NIV)
A Natural Rhythm - “But in the seventh year the land is to have a year of sabbath rest, a sabbath to the Lord. Do not sow your fields or prune your vineyards.” (Leviticus 25:4; NIV)
A Focus Shift - “He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’” (Psalm 46:10; NIV)
A Gift - “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23; NIV)
A Bearer of Fruit - “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. ‘I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.’” (John 15:4-5; NIV)
Found Only in Jesus - “‘All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.’“(Matthew 11:27-30; NIV)
How incredibly refreshing. And yet, how difficult it can be to really live this way.
Frankly, I am writing this from a place of fatigue. My tendency as both a fun-lover, task-doer, and over-achiever is to say yes to most things offered to me. Most season endings have me looking back down the barrel of the gun, telling myself “I cannot do this again” while offhandedly signing my name to another to-do in the next season. In hindsight, I can see this clearly as a lack of discernment. And, if we’re all honest with ourselves, the lack of theology is clear here. If everything is important, nothing is important.
Sure, there is goodness in things we know we shouldn’t commit to, but there is always goodness with God. In every place and person. Everything was either created by Him (Colossians 1:16), made in His image (Genesis 1:27), or works together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
What a blessing to know His goodness is never-ending, but I am!
What a blessing to steward my earthly life, again & again & again!
What a blessing to follow a model of rest that even God deems holy!
At the end of checklists, busy weeks, and draining periods, perhaps learning to say no isn't about doing less for the sake of doing less, but learning to say yes with joy to the things God has actually called us to.