Impact of Grace #5 - Christian Unity
Description
Dr. Kurt Bjorklund explores Romans 14:1-23, showing how grace-filled believers accept those with different convictions and regulate their freedom for others' good. True acceptance isn't found in self-improvement, but in what Christ has already done.
Summary and Application
A while back, Kurt met a man while traveling who opened up about a long struggle with addiction and some choices he wasn't proud of. Kurt encouraged him to consider faith in Christ. "Why don't you try church?" he asked. The man's answer was blunt: "I don't want to try church. Because if I go to church, the people there will make me feel worse about myself than I already feel."
It's not a fair statement about every church. But it's not an entirely unfair one either. For a lot of people, church can feel like a place full of people convinced they're the good ones — where the "bad people" are out there somewhere, and if they'd just clean up, everything would be fine. The truth of the gospel cuts against that: none of us is good enough on our own. We all need a Savior.
That's the tension Paul addresses in Romans 14, a passage about how the church actually gets along — how people with different convictions live in community without judgment, contempt, or quiet self-righteousness on either side. Two statements summarize it well.
Grace-Filled People Accept Those with Different Beliefs and Practices (14:1-12)
Paul opens with a command: "Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters" (Romans 14:1). He's not talking about core doctrine here — he's specific: food sacrificed to idols, and the observance of holy days (14:2-6). These were real points of friction in the early church, but the principle stretches much further than first-century diets and calendars.
Here's the pattern Kurt points to: someone takes a genuine biblical principle, works out a personal implication for how to live it out — which is good and necessary — but then goes a step further and insists everyone else must apply it the same way. That's when, in Paul's language, a person becomes "weak," regardless of how strong or mature they otherwise are. It shows up in how we think about modesty, entertainment, worship style, alcohol, politics, even how we define keeping the Sabbath. The command underneath (like "keep a day holy") isn't up for debate. How we work that out in practice often is.
Paul's instruction cuts both directions: "The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them" (14:3). Neither side gets to look down on the other. Why? "Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall" (14:4). We don't answer to each other for these things — we answer to God.
Grace-Filled People Regulate Their Behavior for the Good of Others (14:13-23)
The second half of the chapter turns the lens back on us. "Let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister" (14:13). If someone newer in their faith needs some extra structure or rules right now, love doesn't require dismantling that just to prove a point.
But Paul doesn't stop there — he adds a counterweight: "Do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil" (14:16). This is where Martin Luther's phrase "sin boldly" actually comes from — not permission to sin more freely, but a refusal to let something genuinely good get relabeled as sin by someone else's rule about a rule. Why does any of this matter enough for Paul to spend a whole chapter on it? "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" (14:17). The kingdom is bigger than the disputes we tend to build it around.
Holding both of these — deferring for someone's sake, and not surrendering your freedom to someone else's rule — takes wisdom, not a formula. Three questions can help sort it out
What's my motivation — am I doing this for the Lord, or to prove something?
What's the impact — does this help or hinder someone else's walk with Christ?
And what does it reveal about the culture I'm building — is it centered on rules, or on "righteousness, peace, and joy" (14:17)?
Why This Actually Works
Underneath all of it is a simpler truth. Theologian Richard Lovelace once wrote that people who aren't secure in Christ "cast about for spiritual life preservers with which to shore up their confidence," clinging to their group, their culture, their standards as a way of feeling okay about themselves.
That's the real reason disputable matters turn into battlegrounds: we're using them to answer a deeper question — am I one of the good people? Rocky Balboa wanted to "go the distance" so he'd know he wasn't "just another bum from the neighborhood." Adrian didn't argue with him about it; she simply loved him, win or lose. That's closer to what grace does. Our standing was never about how well we perform our convictions. It's about what Christ has already done.
When that settles into a church community, something changes. People stop sorting each other into good and bad, in and out, strong and weak. What's left is an invitation — because everybody, without exception, needs what Jesus offers.
Questions for Reflection
Where do you tend to turn a personal conviction into a rule you expect others to follow — and what would it look like to hold that conviction with an open hand instead?
Who in your life might need to experience more patience and grace from you this week, even in an area where you're confident you're right?
This post was developed with the assistance of artificial intelligence based on the sermon "Christian Unity" by Dr. Kurt Bjorklund (Romans 14:1-23, August 8-9, 2026). While every effort has been made to faithfully represent the content and intent of the original message, readers are encouraged to engage the full sermon audio or transcript for the complete teaching.
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Robin Williams (Quote often attributed to him, not confirmed)
“The saddest feeling in the world is being alone in a room filled with people who only love you on your good days.”
Richard Lovelace (from Dynamics of Spiritual Life)
"[Those] who are not secure in Christ cast about for spiritual life preservers with which to shore up their confidence. In their frantic search, they cling not only to shreds of ability and righteousness they find in themselves, but they fix upon their race, their membership in a party, their familiar social and ecclesiastical patterns and culture as a means of self-recommendation."
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Let's pray together. God, as we're gathered around Pittsburgh and beyond today, we ask that You would speak to each of us. I ask that my words would reflect Your word in content, in tone, and in emphasis. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.
A while back, I was traveling and met someone out of town who, as we started to talk, began to share part of their life journey with me.
This man told me about some struggles with addiction he had had, and some other really bad choices he had made along the way. As we talked, I tried to encourage him to consider faith in Jesus Christ and how that might make a difference in his life. At one point I said, “Why don't you try church?” Now, I didn't invite him here, because I wasn't here — it was more like church in general. Here's what he said.
He said, “I don't want to try church.” I said, “Okay, why?” He said, “Because if I go to church, the people there will make me feel worse about myself than I already feel.”
Now, that isn't entirely fair, because I don't know what church is around him, and there's a good chance he would go and experience grace and love in a way he didn't anticipate. But it's not entirely unfair either, because for a lot of people, church is full of people who are convinced that they're good and the other people in the world are bad — that they do things right and the people outside the church do things wrong; that they're the good people, and the bad people are “out there,” and if the bad people would just come in and clean themselves up, the world would be a better place. But the reality of the message of Christianity is that all of us need a Savior. There is no one good except Jesus Christ.
For a lot of people, church is a place where people go and pretend to be a little better than they even are, instead of a place where they admit what's real. For a lot of people, church is filled with an idea of judgment and comparison instead of people looking beyond where they are toward someone else. Worship and the things we do become about being noticed, not about joy or about doing things as unto God alone.
The problem, if a church is more like what this person thinks it is, is that it creates a culture of perceived self-righteousness. When I use that word, I mean that people think, “By doing certain things a certain way, I am better.” Or maybe there's some self-loathing that goes on because they say, “I don't measure up.” Or maybe it's a sense of pretending to be something different, something better than we are.
There's a quote often attributed to Robin Williams — I don't know if he actually said it; I couldn't verify it — but if he did, it's really striking, and even if he didn't, what is said still makes sense. Robin Williams was the actor who took his own life, and here's what he reportedly said: “The saddest feeling in the world is being alone in a room filled with people who only love you on your good days.”
Think about that statement — that's a lonely feeling: the people around me love me when I'm good, when I do well, but not at my worst.
Romans 14 is the passage we're in today. We've been working our way through the book of Romans for several months, and we're coming toward the end. Romans is structured so that it begins by talking about the gift of grace God gives — that's chapters 1 through 5. In chapters 6 through 11, we learn about the experience of grace: what it is to live with the gift. Then in chapters 12 through the end of the book, we see the impact, or the implications, of grace in our lives.
Today we come to Romans 14, which is about life in the church — how people get along inside the church, and the kind of culture and community the church is called to be. I'd like us to look at this chapter and summarize it in two statements. The first, I hope, captures verses 1 through 12. The second, I hope, captures verses 13 through 23.
The first statement is this: Grace-filled people accept those who have different beliefs and practices. This is Romans 14:1–12.
Here's where I get this. Verse 1: “Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.” Some versions say, “Welcome the person who is weak in faith, without quarreling over disputable matters.” Paul then tells us what those disputable matters are, and it's an important qualification, because you might think that when I say “accept those who express themselves differently in their beliefs and practices,” I mean everything is fine. That is not what Paul is saying. He's talking specifically about the church, and specifically about two issues: how people interacted with food sacrificed to idols, and how people interacted with holy days. He references both here.
The idea behind food sacrificed to idols was that food would be sacrificed to an idol and then resold. Someone would say, “Here's my offering — take my ram, my goat, my grain,” and give it to the idol. The idol's caretakers would then take the food and sell it on a secondary market, and people got their food cheaper. Many people said, “What's the big deal? It's offered to an idol, but I don't worship the idol, so I can eat the food.” Others were offended and said there was no way they should ever eat food sacrificed to idols.
My guess is that very few of you have had that debate recently — it feels a little distant — but I'll show you how it relates soon.
Here are the verses. Verse 2 and following: “One person's faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables.” That is not a statement about vegetarianism or carnivorism. “The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them.” Verse 4: “Who are you to judge someone else's servant?”
Paul then moves to a second issue: days. For the Jewish people, when Gentiles came to faith, they wanted the Gentiles to observe all the holy days the same way they did. Some Gentile converts, in essence, said, “Your holy days are extensions of things we don't all have to agree on.” Verse 5: “One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God, and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God.”
So when Paul says, “Accept the person who is weak,” he's talking about different practices and beliefs that center on the implications of our faith.
To help us think about this, I want to point out that there are core things about the faith Paul is not referring to here. He's not saying you can believe anything about anything and it's all fine. He's talking about when a principle is given, and you work out an implication and say, “This has an implication for how we should live.” That's what he's talking about.
These issues move outside the core. Rightly, we learn something about our faith and say, “Because of it, I make this implication about how I should live my life” — or even an implication that goes further. So, in order to live our lives, we're constantly asking: What does the Bible teach? What is the principle? And how do I apply it?
But as soon as you say, about your implication, “Because I've made this implication, everybody should” — you've made a rule about your implication. For example, in the text we just looked at, some people said, “You shouldn't eat meat sacrificed to idols.” You shouldn't worship idols — okay. But some people looked at Old Testament verses and said specifically that you shouldn't eat meat sacrificed to idols, which is harder to sustain. They made the implication: “I'm not honoring the true God if I eat food sacrificed to idols; therefore, this is how I honor God.” Now they've moved a step outside.
Paul is saying there's a category of people — he calls them “the weak” — who take these implications and say, “Everyone should do it this way.” And he says he wants us to accept people who live their lives that way.
I want to say a couple of things about “strong” and “weak.” Given those words, I'm guessing very few of us would say, “I'm one of the weak ones” — we tend to say, “I'm one of the strong ones.” But the way Paul uses this is: as soon as you add something to Scripture as an implication — and again, I want to be clear, adding something and working out implications is good; that's not the point — but as soon as you say, “Because I have this implication, everyone else should too,” Paul is saying you've become, in a sense, the weaker brother.
In fact, if you read this whole passage, I believe — and this will be radical for some of you — that there can be a different definition of sin for different people. Now, here's what I don't mean: I don't mean sin is all negotiable. But here's what Paul actually says. Toward the end of the chapter, verses 22–23, he says, “So whatever you believe about these things, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith, and everything that does not come from faith is sin.”
So Paul is actually saying: there's a point where you become convinced about something out here, and for you it's sin — but it may not be sin for someone else. The weak say, “This is sinful.” The strong are able to say, “Maybe it's not so sinful in my life.”
How does this apply? I said few of us were debating meat sacrificed to idols on our drive in this morning. But you know where this comes out? How you dress. Have you ever had that question about what's appropriate? The Bible talks about dressing modestly, and people define modesty differently. What you can't debate is that the Bible says modest dress is important. But as soon as you say, “I know what that means, and I have all the implications figured out for what everyone else should do,” that's the issue. Sometimes Christian schools do this: measuring boys' hair length and saying, “You have to cut it,” or requiring girls' skirts to be a certain length. Have you seen this? That might be fine as a community covenant, but as soon as you make it a spiritual issue — not just, “This is what we do to have standards” — you're insisting on the issue in a way that goes further than Scripture does.
This can happen in worship practices: “Here's what true worship looks like — everyone else's worship is inferior.” It can happen with entertainment: “I can watch that, but you shouldn't watch this — no one should watch this, because I've become convinced it isn't good.” It can happen with alcohol, with our beliefs about politics, about certain doctrines. It can still happen with how we practice holy days, which was the issue in the text.
One of the Ten Commandments is to keep a day holy unto the Lord — the idea of a Sabbath. You can't argue that's not a commandment, but there's a lot of rightful debate about what it means to keep it. Even Jesus, in the New Testament, healed on the Sabbath when the Pharisees said, “You can't heal on the Sabbath — that's work, and that's wrong.” Jesus healed anyway, because He wanted them to see that the Sabbath isn't something people get to weaponize.
Today, this can mean different things for different people. You might say the way you work out the Sabbath is that you don't do any work — but how do you define work? Is mowing your lawn work? For some it's a chore; for others it's a joy. Sometimes people say, “I'll do this today because it will help me all week” — is that a violation of the Sabbath? Do you see where I'm going? When you say, “Everyone should,” and you're a layer or two removed from the core command, you're in this zone.
I want to be clear about something I've already said: it is always wrong for a follower of Jesus Christ to call good what the Bible calls sin. But here Paul is talking about things a step removed from that.
So we need clarity about how this works in our own lives. Here's where we see it — verse 12: “So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God” — meaning we'll all give an account of how we've chosen to live out the implications of our faith. Verse 10: “You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat.” These are not trivial matters. But again, his point is that sometimes people need structure. He says, “Be clear about your own conviction on this issue.” Verse 4: “Why do you judge someone else's servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall — and they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.” His point: be fully convinced in your own mind about what is a core belief — clearly taught in Scripture — versus how you work it out, which might not fit the same category.
Take using the Lord's name in vain, another example I mentioned a few weeks ago. One of the commandments is, “You shall not use the Lord's name in vain.” What does that mean? It means you shouldn't use the Lord's name in vain — using the name of God flippantly or manipulatively in your speech. That's clear; I can't call that good, because the Bible calls it sin. But what's less clear is what counts as a slang term for the Lord's name, or what Scripture means by “coarse joking” — do other curse words fall under that? One person may say, “To honor Jesus Christ, I never want to use a curse word” (again, not the Lord's name in vain, but what would commonly be called a curse word or some derivative). Another person may say, “I'm fine with that.” This is the kind of thing Paul is talking about.
Notice what he says in verse 3 — probably the big takeaway: “The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not.” So the person who has fewer rules shouldn't show contempt toward someone with more standards. Then: “And the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them.” So if you're the one making rules about what everybody should do, there should be no contempt for the person who doesn't follow them — and this is how you build a church community that accepts people who are different.
The “weak,” in Christian circles, has often been defined as the person who might sin if they see you doing something objectionable. That is not the “weak” in this passage. The weak is the person who makes rules about the rules, who creates structure because they need it. Paul's point is that we need to accept, not condemn, the person who does it that way.
Take another example: Bible reading. Have you ever read a verse that says hiding God's word in your heart is a good thing, and thought, “I should do something about that” — I should read my Bible more? And you come up with a plan for how often you'll read it. What's not in dispute is that taking in God's word is healthy and good for a Christian. But the exact method is a “should” — it can be a good thing, because it gives you structure, as long as you don't make it a test of everyone else's spirituality. That is what Paul is talking about here.
That leads to a second statement. The first was that grace-filled people accept those with different beliefs and practices. In verses 13 through 23, we see this: Grace-filled people regulate their behavior for the good of others. Verse 13: “Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.”
What's he talking about? I believe he's saying that when someone is relatively new in their faith and adds certain rules, and you're mature enough to say, “I don't know if that's really biblical,” you don't need to blow it up by proving what you know. They might need that structure at that point in their spiritual life.
But here's what's challenging: Paul seems to speak out of both sides of his mouth. Verse 16: “Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil.” When someone gets out here and says, “Everyone should,” and you know it's a good thing, he says, “Don't let it be spoken of as evil.” So on one hand, don't put a stumbling block in front of someone; on the other hand, don't let what you know is good be called evil.
Verse 17 explains this a bit: “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.” The kingdom of God isn't about all the things we make it about — it's about something greater.
This is where Martin Luther's famous phrase “sin boldly” actually comes from — not, as some think, “sin boldly so you get more grace.” He was talking about this passage: when someone tells you that something you know is not sin is sin, sin boldly — meaning don't let what you know is good be spoken of as evil.
Here's an example, and this may age me a little: in my early church experience — partly the era, partly the type of church — there was a strong “nobody should ever dance” policy. Has anyone else experienced this? The idea was that dancing happens in bad places, so it leads to bad things, so no one should dance. Now, I have a personal belief that I should never dance — partly because I'm terrible at it, and partly because, as I've said, no one wants to see the pastor try. Thank you for that.
My point is: that's a rule about the rule. There's a time to say, “We're going to a wedding, and the kingdom of God isn't about these ancillary rules — we're going to enjoy the goodness of God in the here and now.” That's being able to say, “I don't want to cause someone to stumble, but there's also a time to challenge it.”
You may ask, how do I do both? The Bible sometimes says two things that appear to be opposite, and when it does — especially close together — it means there needs to be wisdom in applying it. For example, Proverbs 26 tells us not to reprove a fool, or he will hate you for it (verse 4) — so don't reprove someone, because it will only create hostility. But the very next verse says to reprove a fool, or he'll become wise in his own eyes. Which is it? The point is, there's a time when confronting someone will just create a mess, and there's another time when staying silent lets the person go deeper and deeper — and it's up to you to discern which.
I think this is what Paul is doing here. There's a time to say, “This person needs structure and rules about the rules, and I'm not going to blow that up.” And there's a time to say, “The kingdom of God isn't about these things, and I won't call what I know is good, evil” — finding that balance.
This matters because failing to find that balance lets someone take your freedom. In Galatians, Paul writes to a different church and says, “Don't let anyone take your freedom.” His point is: you're not giving up your freedom, but choosing to put someone else's spiritual well-being ahead of proving yourself right. I'm regulating my behavior for the good of the other — and the “weak,” according to this passage, are those who confuse these issues.
We all are strong and weak on different issues — none of us is all strong or all weak; it goes back and forth. There's something else in this text, verse 22: “So whatever you believe about these things, keep between yourself and God.” Sometimes you may feel free, and someone else may not. Rather than making an issue of it, choose to practice or believe what you do without always pressing the point — being for the good not just of yourself and proving yourself right, but for someone else's spiritual journey.
How do we know if we're acting for the good of someone else, or just ourselves? Three things:
First, our motivation (verses 6–9): “Whoever regards one day as special does so for the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so for the Lord, for they give thanks to God. And whoever abstains does so for the Lord and gives thanks to God.” Why do you do it — for the Lord, or for yourself? If you can honestly say it's for the Lord, then whether you challenge something, keep it private, or defer, you can say you're doing it for the right reason.
Second, our impact (verse 13): “Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put a stumbling block or an obstacle” in someone's way. How do my actions impact others?
Third, our culture (verse 17): the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, or of days — it's about righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. That's what's at stake.
Let me ask another question. Did any of you see the movie Rocky? It was allowed in the church I grew up in — it was rated PG. Rocky has a moment, with Adrian by his side, where he says he wants to go the distance. Do you remember why? So he could prove he wasn't a bum. He says, in essence, if he goes the distance, he'll know he's not just another bum from the neighborhood. Adrian — who doesn't get enough credit in those movies — doesn't challenge him or tell him that's ridiculous, that he's not a bum based on the outcome of one fight. Instead, she supports him, creating a loving environment that says, “You're accepted in love whether you win or lose.”
There's a bit of gospel culture expressed when people begin to say: it's not about whatever you think you need to do to feel good about yourself — your acceptance is based on what Jesus has done, nothing else. What these outward things tend to be is our way of trying to convince ourselves we're not a bum. Sometimes they provide good structure to help us; but a lot of times, they're a way of saying, “If I do this, then I'll know I'm one of the good people.”
Richard Lovelace wrote about this years ago, in an academic book with some great quotes (and plenty of dry material). Here's a good one: “Those who are not secure in Christ cast about for spiritual life preservers with which to shore up their confidence. In their frantic search, they cling not only to shreds of ability and righteousness they find in themselves, but they fix upon their race, their membership in a party, their familiar social and ecclesiastical patterns and culture as a means of self-recommendation.”
Here's what he means: we look to our affiliations — the things we do, our family, our churches, our practices — as a kind of spiritual life preserver. Our culture is put on like armor against self-doubt, but it becomes a mental straitjacket that clings to the flesh and can never be removed except through comprehensive faith in the saving work of Christ. Once faith is exercised, a Christian is free to wear his culture like a comfortable suit of clothes — or however you want to put it; I can wear any of this stuff like a comfortable suit of clothes. He can shift to other cultural clothing temporarily, as Paul suggests in 1 Corinthians 9:19–23, and is released to admire and appreciate the differing expressions of Christ shining out in other cultures.
In other words: I can accept how someone else expresses themselves differently. But to get there, we need, more than anything, to know that the reason we're not a bum isn't because of what we do or don't do, but because of what Jesus Christ has done on our behalf. If you get that, you're able to live out Romans 14 and be part of a church culture that isn't filled with judgment and comparison, and “good people” and “bad people” picking sides — but is filled with an invitation that says anyone can come, because everybody needs what Jesus offers. That's the kind of church I hope we are, and I want to be part of.
If you're here today and have always thought Christianity was about a little self-improvement — adding things to your life — I want you to hear again the message of Romans: the way you come to be right with God is not by increasing your activity, actions, or behaviors, but by saying, “I have not been righteous enough, and I know it, because I've sinned. I need a Savior, and Jesus is that Savior.” That frees you to say we can express ourselves differently and do life together, knowing that our real standing isn't in how well we do things, but in who Jesus Christ is. And that gives us freedom.
Let's pray together. God, we ask today that You would help each of us live in freedom and in community in a way that is rich and beautiful. We pray this today in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
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This transcript was cleaned up (filler words removed, grammar lightly edited) with the assistance of AI. It has not been reviewed word-for-word against the original audio for full accuracy and should be treated as a close approximation of the spoken message rather than an official verbatim record.
